We gathered noted designers Phillip Lim and Laura Kim, as well as restaurateur Ezra William at William’s SoHo restaurant, Ma-dé, for an exclusive roundtable moderated by ELLE magazine’s Digital Director, Claire Stern Milch. Keep reading to discover highlights from their conversation, or watch the video to experience the discussion.

Claire Stern Milch: Hello. A-nyeong-ha-se-yo! I’m Claire Stern Milch, the Digital Director of Elle magazine. I’m honored to be moderating this panel on behalf of Neiman Marcus for Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month, which, in my humble opinion, should be every month. I am joined here by Phillip Lim, the founder of his eponymous 3.1 Phillip Lim label, and Laura Kim, Co-Creative Director of Oscar de la Renta.

Milch: And of course, Ezra William, the restaurateur behind this very establishment, Ma-dé, and Wayan, next door. Thank you all for being here. And thank you, Neiman Marcus, for creating space for this conversation. So starting off, what does AAPI Heritage Month mean to each of you?

Phillip Lim: I think you said it best. Instead of a month, it should be every single day. It’s a celebration of the joy of where we come from, our cultures, our expression, and how we embody the space.

Laura Kim: It’s a good reminder to celebrate.

Milch: Amen. And speaking of friends, you all, of course, know each other quite well and memorably founded the House of Slay, a platform for empowerment against the rise of all the terrible anti-Asian hate. So I’d like to take it back to 2020. Darker times. Tell me about the genesis of this project and how it came together.

Lim: It started in a kitchen during lockdown. We always bond around food. We were getting together, nourishing each other, and just supporting each other. And thinking about, “How can we turn this into something fun and more productive.” But then it just evolved.

Kim: It just happened naturally, and when we started posting about our hangouts, everyone wanted to be part of it.

Lim: And the whole idea to me, with any community, is divide and conquer. So when they saw a group of us who were supposed to be competitors within an industry get together and just express joy and love and complete support for each other, that’s a way to overcome that kind of hate.

Milch: Why a comic book? How did it start there?

Lim: We never saw ourselves in these superhero positions or characters growing up. So [we thought] why don’t we just inhabit that space and use our everyday superpowers?

Milch: You define House of Slay as an inclusive space for underrepresented communities from all walks of life. So why was it important for you to welcome all sorts of voices and even those outside the AAPI community?

Lim: We don’t live in silos. And to protect only our community doesn’t really mean anything if adjacent communities are being attacked or affected or discriminated against. If racism exists in one community, it exists everywhere else.

Lim: And the fight is not always serious. Joy is part of the fight. Looking amazing is a way to combat. Feeling amazing is a way to combat. Those are [the things] we try to express.

Milch: Yes. And you refer to yourselves as “Slaysians.” How do you guys define that term?

Lim: It’s being your authentic self and living your life unapologetically and just slaying the day, no matter what that day brings. You have to. You slay or you get slayed.

Milch: You partnered with the AAPI Victory Fund to mobilize voters, supported the unity march in Washington, DC., and even rallied against New York’s mega jail project in Chinatown. So why was it so important to step into the political arena, especially during such a volatile time?

Lim: Who you align yourself with, who you slay with, you’re telling the public, “This is who I am. And these are my belief systems.” We weren’t like, “Okay, let’s get into politics.” It was just living. Let’s just live. Let’s just share with the world who we love, what we’re about, where we come from.

Milch: How did it feel to win the CFDA Positive Social Influence Award in 2022? It was such an iconic moment for the community.

Kim: Well, we love to dress up. … We love that the fashion community actually noticed and gave us a moment.

Lim: It was a total surprise.

Milch: Since last summer, House of Slay has been a little quieter on social media. Is the collective still active? Is the group chat still going?

Lim: The group chat is forever. The spirit of House of Slay is forever. It’s something we activated regardless of the actual project. And I think that it’s actually good that the project’s not having to continue and show up in such a strong way, because that means what’s happening in the environment and the communities is kind of equalizing.

Milch: As AAPI fashion designers and entrepreneurs, have you experienced a new level of support post-House of Slay, and visibility within your respective industries?

Kim: I definitely felt the love. Since we started, honestly, everyone who is so pro-helping me has been Asian and they literally say, “I want to help you because you’re Asian.” When you receive the love, you really realize, “Okay, I need to give back.”

Milch: And have you each found other ways to engage with the AAPI community? Philip, you’ve been quite active and held your past two presentations in Chinatown, for example.

Lim: Yeah. For me it’s a natural evolution of what I need to show up for. From here going forward, everything should be intentional, from holding the shows in the community, [to] the cast, to also projects. Currently, I’m working on a project called Creating Space, which is literally what it means: creating space for AAPI mental health.

Milch: What is something you’d like people to know about Asian culture that they might not know? Besides the food being amazing.

Lim: Come for the food and leave with the culture.

Kim: I also think people don’t really understand the family relationship. The intensity.

Ezra William: Yeah, we’re family oriented.

Lim: I think that family and how you’re raised really defines who you become and shapes the character you are. And I could not think of another way that I would like to inhabit this earth, you know?

William: How I was raised, we value relationships. And it gets passed down to how I value my friendships, too, away from my family. So it’s nice that it’s passed down like that.

Milch: What would be your best piece of advice to pass along to a young Asian person looking to pursue a career in either hospitality or fashion?

William: I think the best piece of advice is: Never be scared to ask.

Milch: You don’t ask, you don’t get.

Kim: Whatever you want to achieve, just look straight forward and go for it and mute all the distractions around you. Because there will be so [many] distractions of people saying not to do it or judging you.

Lim: And my piece of advice is: Lean into your culture. Lean into your past, where you come from, your DNA, what you’re ethnically made of, because it permeates in ways that you could not even imagine.

Milch: Thank you all so much for being here today.

All: Thank you so much.